Things I Love Thursday

Hellllloooo everyone! (all 4 of you that read this)
Here's what I am loving this Thursday:
-finally deciding on & finishing my halloween costume. I'm so Martha Stewart sometimes.
-my new haircut. It's nothing too different but I am so happy to have gotten it shaped up.
-seeing Nick for a few hours last Saturday. 2 fers at Chili's, driving around blasting music, watching him worship his new Sufjan Stevens vinyl.
-being on the barricade @ Sound Tribe Sector 9 with Ryan. Such a good show. Lots of drinks, dancing, jamming, lights, and dancing like crazy. I think my favorite part was giving up our spot to get drinks and feeling like we would never get back but I danced my way through the crowd and right back to where we were. Best.
-talking to miss megan dorak a ton anddd I get to see her this weekend. Cannot wait.
-seeing 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs' in 3D with Jared. It was the cost of a steak dinner, a certain mutual friend of ours wouldn't get out of the movie and I think Jared cried, he definitely clapped at parts. Overall, quality film. It did make me hungry.
-talking about moving in with Kelly. It would really be the happiest thing of my life ever. We decided it would be impossible for either of us to be sad ever again. We're both broke which is the only problem right now.
-running into a friend from high school while walking home. We were both so surprised that our conversation didn't really go past 'oh hi'. We've been talking online though and she is the best because she helped me find something that I've been looking for since I got home : )
-ONEONTA HALLOWEEN. I'm pretty excited for this weekend.

Friends I Love Friday

I didn't do a 'Things I Love Thursday' this week...how sad. Dean did one thought which made me so happy! I don't know, I guess I've been feeling a little bit like I don't have so much to be thankful for at the moment. It's totally all in my head because I'm really lucky even if everything isn't working out exactly how I want it to right now. I have to stop wanting to control everything. I decided since I didn't post yesterday that I'd make up for it by inventing 'Friends I Love Friday'. I haven't always had people in my life that are loyal and that I can completely trust (or trust at all), are there to make me smile & laugh when I need it most, are always down for adventures and have basically the same interests that I do. Sometimes I think they're more like family than my crazy blood relatives.
SO here's a list of some of my favorite people in my life at the moment:
-Dean: he did a TiLT this week (so he gets the top spot), called me out of the blue to yell at me for no having a twitter anymore which led to hanging out with him an hour later, listened & critiqued my reading aloud of 'Where the Wild Things are' (which I did so he would go see the movie since he said he wanted to the read the book first) while we sat at a kiddie sized picnic table in B&N, might be going to Oneonta for halloween (I might also being going too), and just has that magical ability to crack me up when I might be taking myself a little too seriously.
-Noonan: she once again worked on her taxi therapist skills while driving me all around NY state listening to me attempt to solve a few life problems out loud, told me about her Saturday night & I cried laughing at the pure absurdity, fell asleep at the bar on Friday (then the next day, victoriously found her/our lost cellphone hidden in the chair she was in), played awesome songs on a playlist that I've since downloaded, and brought me to Rock Da Pasta in New Paltz, which could possibly be the greatest restaurant ever. I had a James Brownie for desert which was a brownie with cookie dough swirled in it with ice cream & caramel on top. YEA.
-Eddie: he just let me know he has a Phish ticket for me (I was refreshing & stuck in a 'virtual waiting room' this afternoon to no avail), can communicate with me half the time just using our minds because we randomly read each other's thoughts (totally normal), was as super excited to see Where the Wild Things Are as I was so instead of being lame and seeing it alone I saw it with friends, was winning the game of Life by lagging behind the rest of us as a Athlete (he decided snowboarder) who made no money and lived in Kelly's basement but is kicking ass and coming out ahead in real life, and bringing us to Perfect Blend (a really yummy coffee place walking distance from his house).
-Taryn: she's my free psychiatrist, cries more & harder than I do (in movies specifically) so in comparison I'm doing ok, always gets Bombers with me when I visit, more & more frequently agrees with me about the attractiveness of certain males (I love you, men of Albany. you are so fine), has so much stuff from our old apartment in her new one that it reminds me of home, and is my best friend. I love her despite her occasional temper tantrums because I lived with her for 3 years and know how to deal with them & wait them out. She's the effin best.
-Kelly: she does yoga headstands with me, loves the Office and Bare Minerals as much as (or maybe even more than) I do, quotes movies all the time even when no one else will get it, brought us to this cool store & I wanted to buy everything, let me borrow pants to sleep in that I never thought would actually fit but then they did, and is my baby girl. I love her like a sista.
-Tooker & Hannah: They made me a bed between the dog crate & their bed so I escaped the madness of the living room and had a air mattress that didn't deflate. I was confused at first then just laid there under tons of covers SO grateful. They also washed a blanket of mine and it smells really good now.
-Ed: He kept saying I was so skinny & asked if I ever ate. The best part is he is like 85 pounds. A good way into my heart is to tell me I'm thin haha so good job Edward.
-Ryan: He got free tickets to STS9 tonight so I'm going with him. So excited!

That's all for now. I love all my friends but these were the special ones that stood out this week. Maybe I'll make this a weekly tradition too.

Things I Love Thursday

Passion Pit in Chicago
This week I've loved:
-getting Passion Pit tickets for kelly & me before the show sold out. Eddie got one too. Super excited but now I play the waiting game until January.
-discovering Glee. It's high school soap-y and all sorts of corny but I'm a sucker for musical numbers and covers. What can I say, all I really want in life is for it to be a musical. Look it up on Hulu if you'd like to check it out.
-attempting to play my songs for eddie via gchat & laughing a whole lot. I really need to get over my paralyzing fear of playing guitar/singing in front of people. Video chat is the coolest though.
-KEITH DRINKWINE'S NEW SONG : ) The man's talented.
-my mash-up song that's in the works. I'll tell you more when I actually figure out how I want it.
-being alone for days. It's a blessing and a curse. My parents are on vacation this week in the Rochester area. Our best relationship is always over the phone. They are in high spirits, drinking a lot and buying me things. My problem is I can't be on my own for long periods of time but my cat and a bottle of Barefoot wine has been decent company. Seriously though, I don't understand how people live alone. I never will.
-my phone browser. It's saved my life a few times.
-how well my interview went despite crazy circumstances. I was almost having a panic attack about 5 minutes prior but managed to pull it together. I think it went well. I really hope I get it because the company & people seem really great.
-maine flashbacks. The other night I got to thinking about our crazy midnight bike excursions to play on the highway and I got all nostalgic. Oh the many times I could've died just following those boys around.
-Meredith Vieira stalking me. I mean she has like two television shows (idk maybe more), yet I see her way too often. First time, we saw 'Taking Woodstock" together. She was probably as ripped as her jeans because she had this huge smile on her face on the line to go in. Then after my interview, I was wandering around Rockefeller Plaza taking to Dean and there was again, strolling down the street. It's pretty weird. I'm going to take seeing her as a sign that I'm on the right track. I don't know why, I just feel like it can't be a bad sign. I do kind of wish I was being stalked by Barbara Walters instead.
-plans for the weekend. Because I cannot stay in this apartment any longer without some human contact, I've decided to road trip up to the capital region with Noonan. I will get to see a bunch of people I love and I'm sure good times will be had (& documented by Noonan of course). I am taking half of my parent's liquor cabinet and making sandwiches to stay within my limited budget, making it kind of like a game.
Life is gooooood, friends, very good.

Things I Love Thursday

This week, I'm into:
-watching documentaries. Last night I watched 'Ballerina' & today, '*Bigger, faster, stronger' *The side effect of being American. I didn't even mean for it to happen that way but it turned out to be like a Gender Comm class. I could honestly write full posts about both them, they were that good. I just might. Both are available instantly if you have Netflix. Highly suggest, even if you think you aren't interested in steroids or ballet because they really aren't even about that.
-getting an interview. I'm almost enjoying doing all the preparation. I knew that Acting class would come in handy because I'm basically learning lines and trying to make them sound natural.
-looking real professional in a suit. I feel like a million bucks with it on. The total cost was way less than that but still, it's crazy expensive to look important. Who would've thought, this time last year I was putting on a similar getup but it was a halloween costume. Geez.
-looking forward to my parents' week-long vacation. A free place to myself. Oh happy day(s).
-having dinner with my cousin a few nights ago. I was a little nervous because it was a burger place but they had an awesome falafel-type burger. Also spiked milkshakes! Vanilla stoli, vanilla ice cream & oreos = heaven with a slightly upset tummy (worth it).
-running into three people randomly in one day. Really weird but I guess it's a sign I'm on the right path. Bumping into someone from college then someone from high school and then Jared while in the subway all in one day is a pretty weird coincidence.
-buying a new jacket. Yea Urban Outfitters got me after they advertised 30% off outerwear. It's becoming a new rule of mine to buy used as much as possible and never, ever pay full price. Look how awesome it is:

-brushing my teeth to this crazy song Nick told me about. It's mostly one note over and over again but it got me doing the 'washing machine' in my bathroom with toothbrush in hand.
-JIM & PAM'S WEDDING TONIGHT. I had a dream last night that I was at the wedding. Too emotionally involved? Yea just a tad, considering they're television characters. Will I bawl? Highly likely considering the above promo made me cry. YUP.
-getting serious callouses on my fingers from playing guitar a ton. The tips hurt even as I type this. I now understand the phrase 'hurts so good'.
-deleting my twitter. It was for the best. A few nights ago, I got crazy paranoid about how much information there is about me on the internet and I'm the one putting it out there. No one mentioned it so I guess no one noticed. It's a pretty stupid form of social networking anyway.

What are you guys loving this fine Thursday?

Lose your dreams & you will lose your mind

I'm going into some heavy, real talk here. It includes angst and emotions. You've been warned.

Yesterday, i bought a suit for my interview. First, I grabbed the size I assumed I'd be but when I tried it on, I found I was a size smaller. That's always a good feeling. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. It was like a costume. I have a whole ensemble now: suit, blouse, shoes and portfolio clutch bag thing. I look professional so I think that will help make me feel more confident. While on the job search, I've been collecting advice from people, sometimes asked for and sometimes not. I feel like it's important to listen to everyone's opinions and glean from the pile what I find relates to me and is useful. I might be looking at this the wrong way but it seems that being successful all boils down to being someone I’m not, pretending I care about things I hate and lying to everyone’s face but this is all fine because I should just think of it all as a big game I'm trying to win. Great. The problem is I'm not competitive. Ideally, I want everyone to win or at least feel like they're winning. I know how bad it feels to lose. I guess at this point in my life I'm ok with 'playing the game' a little, mostly because I need to get some money together and move out of my parent's apartment. I'm still at the point where I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. It has been my dream for a long time now to get paid to be a writer (in some form or another). A few minutes ago, my father was just dispensing some golden nuggets of working wisdom. I was listening but also saying that although I will do or say the things he suggested, none of it is authentic. Of course, I have to act and make people believe that it is. This led to an attack on all I hold dear. He said I might as well go get my birkenstocks and take up pottery for a living. To sum up, he told me while it would be nice if someone paid me to write stories, that is (here I interjected 'not going to happen now, I know' but he added:) never, ever going to happen because no one reads anymore and if they do it's garbage celebrity gossip or crap on the internet. In feeble defense I said that people do read, just look around on the subway. I mean even I was surprised to see the amount of books there. To undercut yet again, he said yes but I only think that because we live in New York City, people in middle america don't read. Sigh. I really don't know anymore. It's so hard defending this dream to myself half the time that having some one who is supposed to be supporting you tell you that what you truly want in life is impossible really hits straight to the heart. I'm insecure enough about my ability as a writer that hearing it's completely unattainable hurts a lot. Living here has been a battle of trying to stay optimistic and hopeful in a total negative environment. My parents can hide it will in front of family and friends but they are completely and deeply miserable majority of the time. I feel I've evolved over the past few years but I understand how I slipped so easily into deep depression during high school. Now, I think I'm sort of having a existential crisis in a way. Is this all there is? I really need to move far, far away from here.

All good things come

I've been pretty busy & not really in a blog writing mood. Lots of awesome stuff has been happening so I figure I'll write a little about it. Friday, I went to Urban Outifitters and bought part 1 of my halloween costume which was only like $6. The place is sort of frightening because they are so on target with their demographic. I guess I could be considered a part of that but I just felt like I shouldn't give in to it. I did see a coat that I'd like for the winter. Sigh consumerism. I met up with my cousin Trish and went to her apartment in fabulous New Jersey. It's in Hoboken, so it's not like jersey-jersey...whatever that means. Our night consisted of a failed attempt at making pizza dough, several 'pineapple upside down' cocktails, Indian take-out and conversation over television. If it sounds glamorous and wonderful it's because it was. The next afternoon, I got a text from Ashley, who was in the city for the day. I had to go in to get home so we met up, walked around a ton and had a meal. I love that girl so much. It was great to see her and laugh for hours. The past couple days have included mounting excitement about the upcoming Office wedding (you would think I knew Jim & Pam personally), finishing a song & starting a new one (even though my fingers are super sore, when inspiration hits you just have to ride it out), starting 'Life of Pi' (love it so far) and going to the library to get a bunch more books even though I already have a ton I haven't read and last but not least, getting a call about an interview for a REAL job next week! I have to study up and buy a business suit so I don't look like a dummy. Just think, I could be a productive member of society soon!

Things I Love Thursday

(also known as TiLT)
This a little weekly gratitude list that Gala Darling does on her site and I've seen other bloggers around the internet do it as well. It's fun...I'd love to see yours!

Here are a few things I've been digging:
-Starting up blogging again! Yay!
-My new room arrangement & getting my clothing rack to be functional again
-The added chill factor in the weather (Finally hoodie temperature! It's my favorite)
-Finishing the 800 page+ 'The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'
-Finding a site with links to a million tv shows (caught up on lots of How I Met Your Mother)
-Inspiration coming from nowhere
-Jim & Pam's wedding on the Office tonight!!!!
-Having plans and meeting new people (or getting to know people better)
-Having a cousin sleepover tomorrow!
-The fact that it's October (such a good month)
-Re-watching 'Freaks & Geeks' on dvd after forgetting how obsessed I was when it was first on ten years ago. I actually know what they're talking about now...sex and drugs haha.
-Having massive amounts of quality new music
-Conspiracy theories
-Paranormal investigations and how badly my dad wants the show "Ghost Hunters" to be true. The stupidest things freak me out but I love it. I was paralyzed with fear the other night because I thought there might've been a ghost in my room. I'm scared of everything but it's kinda fun that way haha.
-When strangers (that aren't creepy ones) talk to me
-Waking up to texts from friends
-Having notebooks in varying sizes and a pen at arms reach at all times
-Crazy dreams. I had a dream last night I had hair kinda like the picture on top. It was actually an accident but still rad. But even in my dream, I was worried that my hair would ruin my job search.

What have you loved about this week?